Ingredients:
-A three day weekend
-A plan to camp at some beautiful ancient rainforest way out in the middle of no-where
-Three people, who comprise of the following
-2 intense people (who are prone to rude and/or explosive comments)
-1 quite person (who likes to point out that he "doesn't know, so stop asking")
-2 of these people smoke, 1 does not
-1 of these people must be in a relationship with 1 of the other people
-2 of these people must have only known each other for three days
-A Mazda SUV with tinted windows and Texas license plates (though no one in the car can currently live in Texas)
-A map atlas produced in the USA (remember that the beautiful forest must be somewhere in Canada)
-A map picked up at "the last store for 110km" that only shows the road you are supposed to be on and cute little drawings of lumberjacks cutting down trees
Instructions
-First of all put the navigator in the back seat (with the tinted windows) where she can't see any signs or anything else really, except blurs of vegetation
-Make sure that the people sitting in the front seats assume that they don't have to look at the signs they pass
-Have loud music continuously issuing from speakers in the back seat, so that the driver must continually turn up the music to hear it and the navigator must continually say "I can't hear you" when asked for directions (also happen to notice how this is a deterent to any useful or stimulating conversation that might occur)
-Make sure that you do not bring enough cigarettes and that you have no coffee
-Mix all ingredients together and add an uncountable number of un-marked logging roads that all look exactly the same
-Once you are lost, take the maps away from the navigator and pretend like you can read them better than she can
-At some point mix in one flat tire (make sure the spare is smaller than all the other tires)
-Repeat as often as possible "I remember this road, do you remember this road?"
-Finaly cook mixture at 25-28 degrees for 2 days for 4 hours at a strech to create a bad time...
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1 comment:
It sounds like a perfect recipe . . . and I commend you for getting it so very right the very first time. I also commend you for avoiding mass slaughter . . . at least . . . there's been nothing in the news . . . and . . . you don't drive . . . so . . . uh . . . but then I guess people might ignore erratic driving from someone with Texas plates . . . uh . . . so . . .
Hope everyone is still breathing, and that the two people in the relationship are still speaking to one another .. .. . and I'm very glad that you have obviously made it home!
Next time look for the cute lumberjacks indicated on the map, and spend the weekend with them, leaving the other two to roam the wilds by themselves.
much love
fina
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